an ending

Many of you who are regular readers have noticed I’ve been largely absent from this space for the last few weeks. The short version of what’s going on is that after more than five years, T and I are parting ways. It’s definitely one of the hardest and biggest things I’ve ever gone through, but both of us really feel that it’s right and it’s time – we’ve tried really hard to make things work, and while we both still love each other a lot it’s been apparent for some time that we’re just not right for each other. I have to say, I’m really proud of us for being able to have what feels like one of the most mutual and mature breakups in history – there’s no anger, no accusations, no big fights, no sides. Only a lot of sadness that we couldn’t make it work, but definite hope that we’ll be able to stay close and remain important characters in each other’s lives in the future.

On that note, I’m struggling a little with how to be in this space, one that, while it’s been my own, he has always been a large part of the background of. I think I’ll be able to work it out, but expect to see some changes around here soon and know that it take me a little while to get back to a regular posting schedule.

Also, because it’s been the most common questions our friends and family have been asking – he’s currently looking for a new place to live and I’m planning on staying in the apartment, although that most likely means I’ll be needing someone else to move in. More updates on that [hopefully] soon.

ps. Sorry if you know us in real life and hadn’t heard yet – we’ve really been making an effort to tell people more personally but it’s just been hard to get to everyone.

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13 thoughts on “an ending

  1. I’m sorry for you loss. It sounds like you guys are doing the right thing for yourselves and that’s really good, however difficult it might be.

  2. boo hoo, but only cos i like both you and the tobster as individuals and a couple so much. and, more power to both of you if you can move forward in such a civilized fashion. plus, you never know. as i have aged, the most important thing to me in my relationships was being with someone who was my best friend, first and foremost. everything else falls into place beneath that (not giving advice here, just my own personal observation, cos, well, it is about me, right?).

    anyway, my best always to “boff” (re: dumb and dubmer) of you always. long as you are both around, that is the best!

  3. I’m sending good thoughts your way. I’m glad you both came to a decision together, even though it’s difficult, it sounds like this will be the best for both of your futures.

  4. i’m sorry to have read about this… i hope all goes well with both of you individually. i’m sure that both of you have impacted each other positively and i’m sure you’ll continue to grow… individually.

    the best to you both.

  5. Elizabeth. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I know how hard it is even when it’s the right thing. I really do! Sometimes it’s impossible to imagine making it though & not feeling so sad. But you will!
    Best to both of you.

  6. I only know you through your blog, but still want to say that I know how hard even the best of break-ups can be. :( Take care of yourself. {{hugs}}

  7. I am so sorry. I am new to the blog but wanted to comment. I also was in a relationship that everyone seemed surprised when it ended. We were very kind to each other during the break up as we did not hate each other just knew we did not belong together. Being a grown up and doing the right thing is so difficult sometimes. Especially if you feel you are disappointing others in the process. Be true to yourself. Be good to yourself and trust yourself. I wish you the best in this next chapter of your life.

  8. A fan of home decor, I just started reading your blog a few months ago. While we haven’t met in real life, I’ll send out good wishes to you during this time of sadness.

  9. Aw I’m so sorry! I’m new to your blog as of today and I love it, but I’m so sorry this had to happen! It actually weirdly gives me hope that one day I’ll have as “good” a breakup as yours, as perverse as that sounds. Breakups are inevitable to anyone who is living a proper life, and yours sounds like the only way to go about it.

    I have heard anecdotally that redecorating can really help one to move on more quickly, because the current furniture patterns and certain pieces may remind you of the past. Hide certain things in the closet and rearrange everything! It’s an opportunity to spur all kinds of new creativity and blog fodder after everything else is sorted out!

    Best wishes.

  10. new light « A Browner Brown

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